Fumin' mad

ok, to those who are not musicians (and maybe some who are) this is probably NOT a big deal, but it is to me. As I have mentioned, I am playing the Mozart in April. This is with a chamber orchestra, made up mostly of members of the big orchestra - but personnel changes (especially winds) each concert. I asked my buddy M to play first oboe on this concert (support oboe!) in December. I mentioned that I had asked her to the conductor and I thought the manager, although the manager MAY not have been present - this was informal after rehearsal talk.

Background info - I as principle oboe procurred 2nd oboe and EH for the past concerts, we don't have a regular person right now. I *assumed* that I would also get the people for the April concert, but when we had our first rehearsal, M was playing 2nd and A was playing first. This is a BIG DEAL to most wind players.

I emailed the director, conductor (usually concertmaster), and manager in a nice way asking if any of them knew why this would be the case, not to change it at this point, but to clarify. The manager just got back after a week on vacation and sent me a note saying she asked A to play first and that was her "executive decision". I wrote back saying I wished I had known that BEFORE I asked M to play first, but what's done was done and we'd do better the next time. I thought this was very tactful of me, since was getting pretty annoyed.

THEN, manager writes back in a snotty way (I think it's snotty) well, here it is:

I'm sorry that I didn't know you'd done that -- since I talked to M before you did, and I hadn't told her what part she was playing ... AND I was handling the whole set up in geeneral.... well.....

SO!!! Of course since I talked to M in December I don't think she talked to her first. AND as far as I knew *I* was setting up the oboes. I DO NOT like being talked down to about that, I am really upset that she feels this way. I feel like I'm trying to be forgiving and not rock the boat too much, but I want her to say she is sorry. M has been great about this (better than *I* would be!) and doesn't mind playing 2nd, thank goodness. So this is only about egos I guess. And I guess mine got stepped on.